Today actually starting last night, the repercussions of my past actions fueled by my pasts demons hit me. And let me tell you they hit me like a truck. I have felt distant and useless pretty much all day. No matter how hard I tried no matter how hard I looked for ten I couldn't find the positives in anything. Even though I promised I'd leave the negatives behind. I have spent a lot of the 24 hours in stress and emotionally wrecked. I know how to fix the problems but I don't know how to take the steps necessary to do so. All I need to do is to let go of this greed, guilt, hate, lust, and all of the other sins I've committed along with all the things I've allowed to hold me back. All I have to do is let go, but for some reason I can't get myself to do so. This hurts me every second of everyday forces me to realize how childish I have been and continue to be how selfish my motivations at times are. And to those hurt by these actions by these motives these thought I'm sorry I truly truly am. It seems that picking up all these burdens this hate these emotions the hard part if this is letting go..
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