Negativity

Negativity is everywhere, yet at the same time so is positivity. Which one you choose to let affect you is all about your perspective. I finally realized this tonight. It is and will more thanlikely always be the most important realization I make. If you want to have a good day, want things to turn around, to get better, then you have to choose to see the good not then bad and not both. It's a very difficult task and its definitely harder for some than for others. But it is just as important for everyone to do. This I have come to the conclusion is the answer to my problem discussed in my previous writing (inadequacy) Sometimes you have to catch yourself and change what you are thinking of. If you find yourself being negative list your positives think about something you are looking forward to or something that will change your train of thought. Just get your mind off of what ever is bringing you down and think of something uplifting. I am aware that I am not being as articulate as usual but it is 1:14 and I haven't slept well lately well I'm calling it a night. God bless.

Inadequacy

Inadequacy... It's such a big daunting word, which in all simplicity means that one is not good enough. It is my biggest demon the one I struggle with 24 hours a day 7 days a week. One that when you don't deal with it will consume you in the entirety of who you are. Trust me, I would know. I feel that the reason this is so very hard to deal with is because you are the only one who can fix this not your friend not you family YOU and you alone can resolve this issue. It's a terrible thing to have to deal with, and if you're looking for my usual story of how I've dealt with it, well I hate to say it, but I've got nothing. This is to this very moment the demon I struggle with. The one that has me stuck at a brick wall and I am well I am at a total loss..... I'm in all truthfulness scared, and scared beyond reason I feel undeserving of what I have and I wake up every morning expecting that as it has always been before with my life that it will all fall apart that it will be gone, and that...Well, that my friend is my biggest fear.